Watermelon Hair
by Arrista
Summary: shounen ai After the DOOM has ened Amelda still holds a grudge against Seto for what his father did to his brother. How will Amelda heal his wounds? Amelda x Seto
1. Amelda does stuff

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh  
  
The watermelon is cold, it numbs my face. "Then why don't you get your head off it?" Asked Varon. Amelda looked embarrassed. It wasn't the fact he had his head on a slice of watermelon but that he had been speaking out loud. Slowly he raised his head. His hair was sticky from the watermelon. Amelda at Varon, "Why was my head on a slice of watermelon?" he asked. Varon let out a sight, "How am I supposed to know why you do odd things like that." Amelda shrugged, "I guess you're right."  
  
Amelda went to go take a shower. He knelt down and turned the on all the way, then the cold slightly less than half. He rose slowly and pulled the tab so the water would run out of the showerhead as opposed to the faucet. He stepped back a few feet and undressed. He tossed his clothes over by the door and stepped in the shower. Even though it was hot outside, in the mid 90's F, the hot water felt good. Amelda grabbed his lavender scrubbie off the bar in the back off the shower. He turned around and knelt down to soap and pumped cucumber melon soap into the scrubbie. He soot back up and began to wash himself. When Amelda completed that task he took some shampoo and begin washing his hair. "Why the hell did you put your head on a watermelon?" Amelda asked himself while full of rage. He then conditioned it and got out of the shower. He heard a helicopter not too far off. Amelda was curious and decided to check it out. He grabbed a neon orange towel and partially dried him self off. He quickly wrapped it around his waist and walked to his room for some clothes. He looked through his closet. He realized he had to do laundry soon seeing as he only had the suit that belonged to Pegasus, a red tee shirt, a lavender belly shirt, a black leather mini skirt, and his jacket. He dressed quickly. The apparel he chose was his jacket, lavender belly shirt, and black leather mini skirt. He walked to the door and opened it. Amelda looked confused and turned around, "Tell me, Varon, why do I own these girly clothes?" Varon sat on the couch channel surfing, "Remember the one time you tried to hit on Anzu and you thought she was a lesbian?" "Oh yeah...," Amelda said remembering that time, "She is I tell you." "Just give it up and give me my $10" Amelda looked shocked, "Damn! You still remember!" "Drama Queen" "Oh yeah," added Varon, "That Seto Kaiba freak is here promoting some new crap thing he invented. Amelda's eyes narrowed. "That bastard I'll kill him this time." Varon's voice was concerned, "Dude don't you'll get in a lot of trouble, trust me I know." Amelda voice was still full of evil, "I know Varon but he took my brother, why shouldn't I take something of his?" Varon gave up, he didn't want to but he knew there was no convincing Amelda. Amelda walked back into his room and went into the middle drawer of his dresser; he shoved aside crappy duel monsters cards & some other junk and got his knife. He slipped it into his pocket and walked out the door.  
  
Please review so I'm more likely to continue 


	2. Amelda gets hurt a lot

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Ebay  
  
There was a huge crowd screaming and shouting. Seto was promoting some stupid new tournament of his. Amelda grasped the knife inside his jacket pocket. He planned on throwing it straight through Kaiba's skull. He waited as he watched Seto walk around on a stage babbling about the new rules of his tournament. The time was right; Amelda slipped the knife out of his pocket and got ready to execute his plan. And he commenced it. Unfortunately something to his dismay and Kaiba's delight happened, a Seto fan girl had rushed on stage to glomp Kaiba. The knife went straight through her skull, killing her instantly. The people in the crowd were shocked, and Seto's bodyguards ran around Kaiba, relieved he had one less stalker to worry about. Amelda looked down in tears, he was horrified at himself for taking an innocent person's life. In grief he ran back home took a frying pan and beat his legs bloody with it.  
  
In the morning Amelda could not get up due to the injury he had inflicted on his legs. "Pants!" shouted Amelda for no reason. He was going to wait to assassinate Kaiba again, the next time with no failure. He curled up in a ball, thinking what to due to amuse himself. His bed was covered in blood, which gave him an idea. He grabbed his laptop off his nearby table without getting off the bed and auctioned his bed on Ebay with a starting price of $5. This was amusing for about 5 seconds before Amelda realized it was retarded. "Wow this is boring," He said with a sigh. Lazily Amelda grabbed the television remote and turned on the TV. He let out an ear-shattering scream. DBZ was on. He started gasping for breath; he was too traumatized to change the channel. Varon rushed into the room and saw his friend dieing. Varon reminded Amelda of the $15 he owed him and threatened to let him die unless he paid it back. Amelda made a pitiful attempt at nodding while still in seizures. Varon walked back out and called 9-1-1. Soon Amelda was in pain for a different reason, the loud annoying sirens. Cold hands put him on a stretcher. "Don't touch me asshole!" shouted Amelda as paramedics pushed him on his cart thingy back and fourth inside the ambulance. To his surprise they smacked him, and to their surprise he smacked back. Then they did something truly they shot several tranquilizers into him for fun to see how long he'd sleep. After many hours Amelda awoke angry. He looked over to see if he shared a room with anyone, and he did, critically injured woman, she wouldn't make it through the night. He stayed up all night, thinking of ways to get rid of Seto perfectly. At one point the woman stopped breathing, Amelda scared to be around a dead person called the nurses, "There's like this dead girl in my room," he whined. The nurses came and beat Amelda for whining, now about the hospital gown now being girly enough for him to wear. One of the nurses poked the dead body with a stick and then called the mortician. Amelda looked out the window and saw a black hearse come into the parking lot; he could hear the song Another One Bites the Dust, by Queen, he found that very disturbing, but not as disturbing as the mortician having a sinister smile when he looked at the dead woman's body. Amelda shuddered thinking horrible thoughts.  
  
The night Amelda was released from the hospital he was going to begin his new plan. 2 weeks later after his release he walked over to Kaiba's mansion and snuck in, well not really the guards were drunk enough to think he was a girl and let him in after he told them he was a hooker. He wandered down the corridors looking for Seto's chamber. Amelda looked creeped out when he found out it actually was a chamber that was filled with various deadly devices that appeared to have been tested with dolls shaped like Yuugi. He walked over to the bed Seto slept on and pulled out a knife and held it above Kaiba's throat. Amelda meant to bring the blade down but something prevented him, it was that for some reason he found Seto attractive like this. So instead he kissed Kaiba gently on the cheek, Seto did not move. Amelda felt safer now. He sighed and crawled on top of Kaiba's bed and crawled under the BEWD covers, then he wrapped his arms around Seto and Amelda felt good doing it, but he wanted so much more.  
  
At around 1:45 a.m. Kaiba woke up, he felt something weird around him, he looked and saw to arms wrapped around him. Seto gasped and yelled, "Anal rape!" Amelda awoke at the holler, he looked gleeful, "Anal rape? Wow I thought I was going to have to wait like a year before we did that. Seto shuddered as his guards came and beat Amelda. They left him outside on the streets, slowly and sadly Amelda crawled back home. Seto was still shaken as he tried to fall back asleep that morning, he constantly thought how scary it was but oddly the more and more he thought of it that way he wanted that feeling again. 


	3. Varon, popper of the pills

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh  
  
"Hehehe I'm going to like... do all this stuff, and then when you're sleeping I'm going to steal the $15 you owe me, hehehe," Varon giggled oddly.  
  
Amelda looked at Varon, while backing away slowly.  
  
Varon giggled some more, "hehehe," and with that Varon grabbed a container and threw several orange pills in his mouth.  
  
Amelda grabbed another container of pills, this time they were pink, and began playing the game where you try and throw food in your friend's mouth, except this time with pills. Varon, who shook violently, grabbed a container of white pills with black speckles and poured the entire bottle down his throat. "Hi!" said Varon looking at a sandwich, "What! You're going to smell some mozzarella! Not if I smell if first!" Varon began to sniff a piece of toast. Amelda was totally lost now and did an anime style double blink. "Ha I have smelled the mozzarella better than you Caine, Lord of the Pastrami!" Shouted Varon with a triumphant smile on his face, and with that he shoved the sandwich up his nose.  
  
Amelda was shopping with Varon's girlfriend, Mai. Amelda walked out of a women's' dressing room in black sweater.  
  
"Does this make my ass look big?" Asked Amelda. Mai simply responded with a sigh.  
  
"Hehehe..."  
  
"Not again!" Whined Amelda.  
  
Varon bobbed his head up and down several times before grabbed some pills out of his pocket and swallowed them. Mai looked around and hoped no one there knew she was Varon's GF. There were several heaps of clothes on the floor; Varon had begun to run around manically. Varon grabbed a salesclerk and shouted duck soup in their face, before biting of some of their hair and eating it. Everyone was just lain scared now and slowly evacuated the store.  
  
That night Amelda emailed Kaiba, the email said: I'm going to kill you! You're going to die. Sorry for lack of creativity. After looking at some Malik/Bakura yaoi he ended up reading a sappy Malik/Bakura fanfic got all- romantic. This caused him to write Seto a new email, it said: My beloved Seto! I know we shall be together some time. Please Seto, why? Why? Why won't you love me?  
  
Kaiba checked his yahoo inbox, "This appears to be all porn, or junk email." Seto clicked once, and all the emails, including both of Amelda's were lost forever.  
  
Varon's hyper body twitched as one of his eyes completely looped. "You SMELL, bad! Maybe? Probably, yes."  
  
Amelda sat in the thinking position, thinking, "Hmm, that's right, I haven't bathed since chapter 1.  
  
Varon looked for some more pills but to his dismay found none! "No! My pills!" He shouted and curled up on the floor in withdrawal. 


	4. Amelda's breasts

Amelda entered Seto's tournament, which was in America.  
  
"Man, I love America!" Shouted Kaiba, holding up a statue of the Colonel from KFC on a base that read Uncle Sam.  
  
The event was broadcasted worldwide. The winner would receive a shit load of cash and the get to lose a duel to Seto.  
  
"But what if we win?" Asked Yuugi.  
  
"Then I kill you before that happens," Replied Kaiba.  
  
Well Amelda was in the semi finals, against Malik. The blazing sun beat down on him. Amelda had no clue what the hell he was doing as he activated a trap, which made him lose 6000 Life Points. Malik summoned a monster called "Another muscular sword wielder. Amelda drew a card and wiped his some sweat off his forehead. "It's uber hot here," He whined as he took of his sports bra. Everything was silent now. Peoples' mouths were agape. Amelda looked around confused. Everyone had his or her eyes on him. Amelda summoned a random monster that looked like a cross between an oven mitt and a gorilla. It attacked and destroyed Malik's monster dropping Malik's LP to 4600. He ended his turn. Malik was near petrified, he tired to draw a card and actually ended up doing so, slowly he pointed for his monster to destroy Amelda's and win the duel but he was still stunned by Amelda. Amelda glumly walked away, picking up his sports bra and putting it back on.  
  
The next day Varon tossed Amelda the newspaper.  
  
"You're famous," He said simply looking for pills.  
  
Amelda looked at the title, "Girl's you know whats show on worldwide broadcast." Amelda read the article. It talked about him, in this case her, taking off his shirt and warping little children's minds. "It's a shame a good family game has to be corrupted by smut like this" –Yuugi. This greatly offended Amelda, not the fact they had mistaken him for a girl, but that Yuugi could get away with calling Amelda smut just because he took off his shirt where Yuugi publicly whacks off to a Black Magician Girl.  
  
"Oh yeah," Said Varon, while tossing some pills in his mouth, "You got a lot of hate mail from soccer moms."  
  
Amelda shuddered at the thought of them as he tossed the letters in the fireplace, which had a kangaroo sleeping in it, as opposed to a flame burning.  
  
Amelda quickly stepped back to recheck what Varon was doing. "Oh crap! He found the pills!" Said a terrified Amelda.  
  
Amelda had a worldwide television event scheduled for him to apologize for his actions, which he wasn't even going to do; he was just going to be a fool. When Amelda arrived he was attacked by the paparazzi, they continuously poked him. Amelda ran around in a circle terrified until he ran inside. The lights were on him; he had no clue what to do. Something expected happened then, Varon ran across the stage naked. Everyone seemed surprised with the exception of Amelda who had expected this and now felt the need to do the chicken dance. 


	5. The awesome power of the spongmonkey

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Quiznos (sp?)  
  
Amelda groggily woke up one morning to the ring of his cell.  
  
"Hello?" asked Amelda.  
  
"You have 7 days left," Said a mysterious voice.  
  
Amelda checked his schedule; to his surprise he only was in 7 more episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh until he was gone for good, not even flashbacks.  
  
"Anyways," went Dartz's voice," You and Varon need to get over here, the union says I need to give at least one of you a raise."  
  
Amelda walked into the main DOOM room. He saw Dartz standing on top of a table in the back; Varon was waiting in the center.  
  
"Now I could do this like a civilized gentleman but for ratings I'm going to have you both fight to the death," said Dartz.  
  
And with that the fight began. Amelda was the one to make the first move, he picked up a shuriken. Amelda smirked, "I'll use my special power to go back in time and jizz in this can of pop I was just drinking then never open it up and shake it at you and open it at you!" "Play the time traveling theme!" Amelda shouted to a guy in the background. Freckles began to play as a tye-dye swirl of light began to surround Amelda. Now Amelda is in the factory where the soda is being made. After several hours with much effort Amelda finally manages to jizz in the soda and travels back to the present as Freckles plays again. Amelda did as he said he would and shook the can up and sprayed it at Varon.  
  
"Yummy," replied Varon, "Now it's my turn." "Left hand sub right hand spongmonkey!" Roared Varon as the opening to Magic Knight Rayearth began to play. In Varon's left hand a subsandwhich formed, in his right a spongmonkey. Varon appeared before Amelda suddenly and shoved the sub up his ass and put the spongmonkey in front of his face. Amelda's strength was no match for the awesome power of the spongmonkey. As the opening to Magic Knight Rayearth began to finish Amelda is seen lying unconscious's on the floor.  
  
"No one loves me!" Whined Amelda like a whiny lil' goth over IM to Seto.  
  
"I hate you,," replied Seto.  
  
"53 459-%9 45& 67({ #%%#$$$]" responded Amelda.  
  
Seto closed his IM with Amelda as he sighed, "Damn 7334ist." 


	6. Uranus 6

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Crest of the Stars.  
  
An extremely cheesy, overly masculine, disembodied voice said in a constipated tone," In the last chapter of Watermelon Hair, whiny lil' Amelda had an epic fight with Varon for a promotion in the DOOM organization, and he lost. The after IMing Seto, the guy who Amelda wants to go out with, he felt even more miserable after Kaiba rejected him. Now what will Amelda do?  
  
Amelda cried in Seto's bed. He was sucking his thumb. His eyes were closed but if they were open they would have been red since he'd been crying all week. A light was turned on and brightened the room. Set saw the pathetic boy sniveling on his bed. Seto actually felt sorry for him. He kneeled down next to the bed and began to stroke his back gently as he layed a soft kiss on Amelda's lips. Then he called security and they threw Amelda out the door.  
  
Varon was in withdrawal from his lack of pills. He lay on the floor of the kitchen floor curled up shaking violently. Amelda returned home and saw Varon on the floor. He stared and ran for the phone to call 911, but instead he grabbed a stick and began to poke Varon. This amused Amelda for an hour until Varon stopped twitching. Varon lay completely still for a moment, his body made a huge twitch and a vast amount of blood spurted from Varon's nose, eyes, and ass.  
  
"Holy shit," said Amelda as he stopped poking Varon, "My stick broke." Amelda went to the phone and called for an ambulance. Soon Amelda hear the loud annoying sirens as they came towards his house. The paramedics grabbed Varon and threw him in the ambulance.  
  
That night Amelda had the worst nightmare he'd had since the one where he saw Weevil naked. He dreamed Varon had robotic body parts and could shoot lasers out of his ass. He ran in his dream into something even more terrifying, a giant Insector naked. Then Amelda awoke, his breaths were heavy and sweat dripped form his forehead. He got up turned on Crest of the Stars, and in moments fell back asleep. 


	7. Amelda's recollection

I've finally decided to update Watermelon Hair. By the way I didn't know what to name the last chapter and Uranus 6 came up at a random. This chapter is set in the future and the chapters after it shall return to the present timeline.  
  
A 16-year-old boy with short reddish brown hair walked into the living room of a large mansion. His eyes were a grayish-blue and he was rather tall and had fair build.  
  
"I'm off to start work today!" he shouted, making it echo through the entire place.  
  
A 30 something Amelda is sitting on a large chair, one that a person trying to take over world would use, reading the latest issue of YM, which greatly bothered his son.  
  
"Umm, dad you're like 33, you can't read YM," he said crossly to his father.  
  
Amelda put it down. And started a "When I was your age..." rant.  
  
He frowned, "Look dad I seriously have to go to work."  
  
"Work eh?" Amelda said with a glint in his eyes brining back old memories and a boring story.  
  
"You know my first job was with the DOOM Organization. We were supposed to get some souls for our boss to resurrect this one really powerful monster. Anyways I remember my first day on the job. First they had to see if I had enough angst, just barely made it to round two. There they shoved a watermelon up my ass as the initiation. Hurt like hell and made me have a fat ass so I couldn't wear my dress to the prom but it was worth it, I got on TV," he said, smiling at the memories while looking at a screen cap of him hanging on the wall.  
  
"God damnit dad! Now I'm going to be late and get fired, ON MY FIRST DAY!" the boy shouted and went off crying to his room. 


	8. Amelda & Varon, pusher of the pills

Back in the current timeline...

Varon frowned looking at the bottle, surprisingly still rather filled with its occupants, medium sized, rod shaped, pills. "These pills blow."

Amelda looked at the container, "Varon, did you swallow them?" he asked his friend.

"They're pills, DUHH!" replied Varon slightly annoyed.

"Actually, they're suppositories," Amelda responded.

Varon looked confused and asked, "What are those?"

Amelda sighed, "Suppositories are pills you shove up your ass, they haven't been working for you since you've been swallowing them."

"Oh," replied Varon.

Varon withdrew a pill and shoved his hand down the back of his pants. He moved his hand around for a while before whining, "Amelda I need help."

Amelda's answer was quite simple, "Hell no."

Varon tried for a few more minutes and eventually succeeded. Soon he began his manic run around the house. He walked over to the table and noticed the bottle was stolen; the pills were actually for Seto Kaiba. A demonic grin crossed Amelda's face as he slowly formulated his plan.

"God damnit I need my suppository, where's my bloody nurse!" Seto shouted, wanting his medication so he wouldn't end up digesting his own ankle during his sleep. A nurse wearing an overly large mask came in. He shoved the pill up Seto's ass with a great amount of force.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," growled Kaiba, while taking the pain, though it sounded as if he were constipated.

Amelda continued to have his pleasure for about 2 minutes before Seto thought something fishy was going on.

"You've spanked the right cheek three times, by now it's on supposed to be two," he turned around and hissed.

Amelda fled out the door, and across the street, then to the zoo, next to a space ship, which went to Jupiter, but was intercepted by the gravity of it's moon Io where he stayed for 5 millennia, before aliens came and took out his eyes and used them as suppositories, in which Amelda accidentally ran inside their spaceship and then flew off into a far away unknown galaxy known as Dfeira where two stars exploded at the same time and broke time itself there for a moment in which he traveled back to the present except everyone there now had their spleens called Semarias by some and Rakkiduzzs by others, leading to a great war, in which only a few(the characters in this story) survived.


	9. Hamburger Jimmy

The end of Watermelon Hair.

On this bright August day Varon was basking in the sun, he was rich. After becoming bored with all current pills in existence he set out to make the perfect pill and he did so. In within a month he had become a successful drug lord, and had moved out of his shack with Amelda and into a large mansion after marring his girlfriend Mai. Amelda had moved in with his boyfriend (to some extent at least) Seto. Varon sold his pills very cheap, and had a wide variety of flavors and effects. By accident some of his creations cured cancer and AIDS, while others caused many new unstoppable hybrid diseases the ones that were healers ended up becoming legal medicinal drugs and Varon thus grew even richer. People lost interest in investing their money in Kaiba Corp. and chose to invest in Varon's revolutionary pills. In less than 3 years Seto and Amelda were dirt poor. This was not for long though because in a last attempt to make some money Kaiba became a male prostitute (I forgot the actual name), and was a large hit. He worked his way up from people living in their parents' basement to the high class in within a week. By the end of the month They were both living in a large mansion, nowhere near the size of their previous one, or Varon's though. At that time Varon and Mai had a child, ironically two months later a child was artificially created from the DNA of both Seto and Amelda. Both children were born when expected. Both children were raised to hate other families from one their parents. For Amelda and Seto's child it was from Amelda and Varon was the one who brought hate to his daughter. Yes they had been friends long ago but Varon spent all his money on pills and left them very broke as well as make their cardboard box worse, as for Amelda he did nothing but bring debts and seemed to destroy everything he layed his fingers upon. That was how their separation as best friends began.


End file.
